Going Back
by Sydney Cooper
Summary: Amy changed at college.  Her first priority is no longer horses after a terrible accident left her frightened.  But when she recieves devastating news at home she must face all she's left behind. Please Review!
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Amy Fleming changed while she was away at college

Summary: Amy Fleming changed while she was away at college. Her first priority is no longer horses. Instead she spends time partying and hanging out with her boyfriend, Kyle. She dropped her pre-vet program and now is studying to be an English major. She hasn't gone home to Heartland in over a year, but when Grandpa Jack dies, she must face what she has left.

Going Back

The music was loud, light was dancing across the ceiling, and Amy Fleming was staring up at it. Her mind was reeling, but not in a bad way. Her boyfriend, Kyle, came up to her and held out his hand offering Amy more pot. Amy gladly took it. She didn't want this feeling to end.

The rest of the night was a blur. The next thing Amy could remember was waking up next to Kyle on the floor.

_"Good, God,"_ she thought. "_What happened?"_

Amy quietly sat up. She looked over at Kyle and instantly smelled alcohol on his breath. She decided not to wake him up. She grabbed a blanket to cover her naked body since she couldn't find any clothes. Then she walked back to her dorm.

Jaime and Chantal laughed hysterically when they saw her.

"Amy, did you get some, last night?"

"Shut up, you guys. I honestly don't remember last night." Amy plopped down on her bed. She groaned as she felt a headache come on.

"That seems to be happening more and more," Chantal giggled. "But that party was crackin' last night. You and Kyle were basically doing it on the couch."

"Dr. Kramer left a message for you this morning. She wanted to know if you were going to physical therapy this week. You told me you stopped that," Jaime questioned her.

"I did, but Dr. Kramer thinks I still need it."

"You do have a tiny limp still," Chantal pointed out.

"She said that might never go away, so why should I try to fix something that can't be fixed."

"Because you don't know if it can be fixed," Jaime said.

Getting through classes was difficult that day. Besides the pounding headache, Amy was worried that she did something embarrassing and someone was going to remind her of what it was. Eventually the day was over and Amy looked forward to peaceful, relaxing weekend.

The weekend turned out to be anything but peaceful. Around midnight, Amy received a call from her sister, Lou. Her voice sounded urgent and Amy's heart immediately began to race.

"Amy, something's happened to Grandpa. The doctors think he's had a stroke."

"Oh my God, Lou! When?"

"Just a half an hour ago. Amy you should've see him. It was so awful. I'm scared he's not going to be okay." Lou began crying, which made Amy cry.

Amy was packing her things to get ready to go to Heartland when Lou called back. This time Lou was already bawling. "He's dead Amy."


	2. Chapter 2

Lou had insisted Amy wait until the morning to come out. Amy had refuted this, but eventually gave in. Lou said all they would be doing was paperwork and enough people were already there. Amy agreed, but there was no way she was going to sleep tonight.

Amy didn't feel like being around Chantal and Jaime either, so she went for a walk around the Virginia Tech campus. It was a chilly May night, but Amy wasn't concerned about the cold. It felt like she was going to throw up and there was something lodged in her throat. The feeling wasn't all that unfamiliar to her. About five years ago, she'd been going through the same kind of grief when her mother died.

She thought about how much she loved her grandpa and what life would be like without him. The thought was unbearable and now the situation was all too real.

Amy wondered if she should call Kyle and while she realized she should, he wasn't the person she wanted to speak with most. Memories of joy and regret fluttered back when she thought of Ty. She realized it had been a long time since she'd thought of him. Ty was her first love, and that was it: nothing more, nothing less.

Going back to Heartland would be weird. She hadn't been back in a year and while she kept telling herself and others it was because she was too busy, she knew it wasn't. Her family didn't know she had switched from a pre-vet major to an English major. They also didn't know that she hadn't ridden or seen a horse in over a year. Now Amy was completely overwhelmed and weighed down with grief.

The next morning Amy took a bus back to her hometown in northern Virginia. The old Amy would've always wanted to go to Heartland first, but this Amy decided to go straight to Lou's.

Scott, Lou's husband, answered the door and immediately wrapped Amy in a big hug. She could feel the pain in his touch. He was close to Jack too.

"Lou's in the family room planning the funeral with the funeral director."

Lou couldn't even take time to grieve. She was always trying to stay busy. Maybe that was just her way of grieving.

"Hey Amy. It's so good to see you. I wish it wasn't under these circumstances. You could help plan the funeral if you'd like, but you don't have too. I know you don't like the business side of things. You could go over to Heartland and take a ride, if you'd like."

"It's okay, I want to see Lilly."

"Okay, but she's sleeping in her room."

Lilly, was Lou and Scott's three-year-old daughter. Amy walked into the little girl's room. She was sleeping so peacefully, Amy decided not to wake her. Instead she sat in a rocking chair and picked up one of her picture books and read the story. She realized the story was one that Marion used to read to her when she was a toddler. Tears began to well up in her eyes.

Just then Lilly woke up. She looked wearily at Amy. She was only three and she hadn't seen Amy in over a year.

"I'm Amy. Do you remember me? I'm your aunt." Amy got up and walked over to the little girl.

Lilly nodded and held out her arms for Amy to give her a hug. Amy did and gave the child a kiss on the top of her head.

Lou and Scott were huddled together mumbling when Amy came out of Lilly's room. They stopped when they saw Amy.

"How are you holding up?" Lou asked her.

"As well as can be expected."

"I realize I haven't seen you in over a year."

"Yeah, it's been crazy. School is really busy and I have so much to do on the weekends with the horses," Amy lied. She knew it would come back to bite her but right now it was an easy out.

"Do you want to go to Heartland with me and we can take a trail ride?" Lou asked hopefully.

"I'm really too tired. Maybe tomorrow. I think I'm going to head over there and take a nap. Call me tomorrow and tell me what's going on." Amy knew she was being distant, but she couldn't deal with the questions now.

It was harder than Amy thought to pull up into the Heartland driveway. No one was there and it seemed very empty. She'd never come home to Heartland without grandpa being there. She looked out to the horses. She wondered who was taking care of them and then knew that tomorrow morning she would have to. Amy heard Sundance whinny when he saw her and even though it broke her heart, she ignored him and walked into the main house. Walking up the stairs and seeing grandpa's room was especially hard. She couldn't bring herself to look inside it. In the bathroom she grabbed an Ambien and plopped down on her bed hoping to fall asleep forever.


	3. Chapter 3

Amy slept soundly the rest of the day and the night. She awoke the next morning when she heard a car pull into the driveway. She thought it must be Lou, but when she looked out the window, she wasn't surprised to see it was Ty. The sight of him took Amy aback. She looked at his worn jeans, green t-shirt, and toned biceps that peaked out of the shirt. Amy caught herself staring too long. For a second she wanted to run out to him, but then she stopped herself. Instead she grabbed a towel and jumped in the shower.

As Amy was squeezing the excess water out of her hair, she heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

"Amy," Ty called. When Ty saw that she was wearing only a towel, he quickly averted his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Amy whispered as her cheeks turned bright red.

Ty stood there awkwardly for a few seconds before turning around and walking back down the stairs. Now Amy really didn't want to face him, but she knew she must. She quickly put on some clothes and put her hair in a ponytail.

"I'm sorry about up there. I should've called." Ty looked at Amy apologetically.

"Nothing you haven't seen before, right?" A nervous chuckle followed and Amy immediately regretted saying that.

"So I'm really sorry about your grandpa. He was a great guy."

"Yeah, it feels so weird to be here without him, you know. It seems like everything's changed and not for the better."

"I hope you know I'm here for you Amy."

"I do know. Thanks Ty. I want to know what's up with you. I haven't seen you in so long." Amy was eager to talk to him now. Things weren't as weird between them as she thought they would be.

"Same old, same old. Coming here everyday. I just bought a condo up the street a little while ago."

"That's great."

"Are you still with Will?" Leave it to Ty to bring up the elephant in the room. Ty thought that Amy had left him for Will, when that was not the case. It was more about Amy finding herself.

"No, we broke up more than a year ago."

"We broke up a year ago," Ty said a little confused.

"Yeah, Will and I never took off." A little smile spread across Ty's face. "What about you? Do you have a girlfriend?"

"Yeah actually I'm engaged. Heather and I are supposed to get married at the end of the summer."

Amy was sure the shock showed on her face. Amy thought that there was always a chance she and Ty would get back together but the realization they never would saddened her.

"That's wonderful. Congratulations." Amy hastily got up and went into the kitchen. Ty followed her.

"Amy, its okay. I would be upset if you were getting married. There's something about a first love that will never go away."

"I'm not upset. I'm actually with a guy named Kyle now. I'm just upset I didn't get invited to the wedding."

"You can come if you want to."


	4. Chapter 4

Ty had left pretty soon after their exchange. He had ended the conversation by ending saying that if she needed anything to call him. Yeah, right. Like she was going to do that.

Lou stopped by in the afternoon after she dropped Lilly off at preschool.

"Want to go for a ride with me?" Amy knew Lou was trying to make things easier, but she was making it so much worse.

"I don't feel like unpacking my stuff right now. I was actually planning on visiting Soraya soon."

"Oh, okay. I just realized I haven't seen you since your accident. Are you completely better?"

"I still have a little limp, but I'm basically 100."

"That's good. You're so brave. If I was you, I would probably never go near a horse again." Lou thought she was being funny, but those words stabbed Amy like a knife. She was a coward. She was afraid to go near the one thing she loved the most.

Lou left shortly after she stopped by because Amy had told her she was leaving to see Soraya, but she wasn't. In fact Amy had lost touch with Soraya a while ago. Soraya had been trying to call, but Amy didn't want to talk to anyone after her accident.

Instead of just sitting in the house, Amy decided to go grocery shopping. Sure enough, she bumped into Soraya.

"Amy!" Soraya tapped Amy on the shoulder. "I heard about your grandpa."

"Yeah," Amy appreciated all the condolences, but it was getting annoying. "I'm sorry I haven't been in touch lately. I've been really busy lately." There she went again.

"It's okay. If you want to get together, call me. I miss you." Soraya gave her a big hug. Amy always thought Soraya would be really mad if they saw each other again. It never occurred to her, that she would understand. Well, she has been my best friend for years, Amy thought to herself.

As Amy was leaving the supermarket, Kyle called her. About time, she'd been gone for two days and he didn't even notice. After she explained what had happened with her grandfather, he asked if he should come out. First she thought it would be fun to show him off to Ty, but then she decided against it. This was something she needed to do by herself.

After Kyle hung up, Lou called and asked Amy to pick up flowers for Jack's funeral. Amy did so and when she got home, she decided to work on a paper for school, so she wouldn't get too behind.


	5. Chapter 5

Grandpa Jack's funeral was today. Amy was getting ready. The reality really hit her then. She began to sob. Amy walked into her grandpa's room. She looked at his things and liked how his things were still just like he left them. Amy was reading his journal when she heard Lou honk the horn outside. Amy wiped her tear-stained face and got into Lou's car.

Amy was surprised by how many people had shown up for his funeral. It seemed to be the whole town. She saw Matt and Soraya, Ashley Grant, Ben Stillman, Joni, and of course Ty and Heather. Ty casually hugged Amy and she wondered if Heather knew about their past.

The service was beautiful. After they went to lunch and people shared their stories of Jack. There was a lot of crying, but also a lot of laughs.

Lou followed Amy back to Heartland. "We should start cleaning out Grandpa's room," she said regretfully.

"What! He's only been dead four days. You can't just get rid of all his stuff!" Amy yelled at Lou.

"Amy! Calm down. You can take whatever you want, but it's no sense in leaving it as it is. Besides I told Ty and Heather they could move into the guesthouse."

"You what? Why would you do that? He said they just bought a condo anyway."

"They can't make rent on it. And Heartland isn't exactly making a lot of money right now. A few hundred a month would really help."

"Lou, you don't understand. Ty's my ex-boyfriend. I can't live here if he is."

"Amy he'll be in the guesthouse."

Amy couldn't believe her sister. She was so furious. "Fine, whatever. I'm leaving tomorrow anyway. I probably won't come home for summer anyway."

"Amy, you're being very immature," Lou yelled at her as she walked away.

Amy didn't wait for her sister to finish. She slammed the front door and began furiously packing her clothes. Tears began to stream down her face. Her grandpa was dead. Ty was getting married. Lou didn't understand and she was afraid of horses.

Amy decided to leave that night. It was no use sticking around Heartland any longer.


	6. Chapter 6

A week passed and then another week passed. Soon a month had gone by and it was time for finals. After finals were over it was summer break. Amy didn't have any plans.

"You should come up to my family's condo in Cape Cod," Kyle suggested.

"That would be fun."

"So you'll think about it?"

"Definitely."

Amy was packing up her clothes in her dorm room. She had decided to go to Cape Cod. While Amy was thinking about how tan she would get on the beach, a knock came from the door.

"Ty!" Amy could hardly believe it. She stood there, her mouth agape. "What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you, Amy." He looked hurried and uncomfortable. Amy thought about the fact that she was supposed to be leaving in an hour. But she never could say no to Ty.

"Okay, but it has to be quick."

Ty and Amy both got a coffee at the campus Starbucks.

"So what's up?" Amy wondered.

"Lou says Heartland's not making enough money. She wants to close it down Amy."

For a second Amy was relieved. If Heartland were gone, there would be no pressure on her to go back and continue to work with the horses. There was also another part that was sad because Heartland was her mother's dream.

"We don't want to go bankrupt. If Lou thinks that's the best thing to do, then she should do it."

Ty suddenly stood up. "Are you kidding me Amy? Is that really you?" he began to yell.

"Ty people change. I realize not everything can go as we want it to."

"Amy people don't change so drastically. You've changed since your accident. I know you went through a lot being in a coma, and being partially paralyzed for a few weeks. But it's been more than a year."

Amy began to cry. "I know but it's hard. You wouldn't understand."

"I know you don't think I would. That's why you shut me out when it happened. But I do understand. But I also realize at some point you have to move on. You got to get back on the horse. I know you love Heartland and I know you really do still love horses."

Amy was surprised he picked up on her apprehensions whenever horses came up. "I do love horses."

"I know, so don't be afraid anymore."

Amy looked at the clock and remembered she had to get going soon. "I'm sorry Ty. I can't. I have to go." Amy got up and began to walk out of the coffee house. Ty stood looking after her.

"I thought you were stronger than that Amy Fleming," he called after her. A tear slid down Amy's cheek.


	7. Chapter 7

Amy and Kyle were at the airport and she couldn't get Ty's voice out of her head. _"I thought you were stronger than that, Amy Fleming."_ Those words cut through her like a knife, mostly because Ty had said them, but also because she wished she was stronger.

"Are you okay, you're fidgeting," Kyle mentioned.

"No, I'm not," she confessed. She stood up and nervously ran her hand through her long brown hair. "I can't go to Cape Cod."

"What happened?"

"Heartland's in trouble. Lou thinks we have to close down."

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I don't know. There are a lot of things going through my head right now. I think I need to just take a step back from all this." It just occurred to Amy what she had done.

"So you're breaking up with me?"

"Yeah," Amy gave Kyle a hug and then walked out of the airport. She was scared. Now she really did have to face her demons.

Walking up the gates to Heartland had been the same feeling as a month ago. It was overwhelming. Amy hadn't called Lou to tell her that she was coming. Frankly, she was still mad.

Amy saw Lou talking to two people by the barn. Now was as good as any to face her. She overheard their conversation as she walked up. "Heartland has 24 stalls, two riding arenas and five paddocks. I think it would make the perfect riding school," Lou said.

It occurred to Amy that these were prospective buyers. Now she was boiling. Amy sweetly tapped Lou on the shoulder. Lou looked surprised and then nervous at the sight of Amy.

"Hey Lou! I decided to come home for summer after all. So watcha up to?" She then smiled at the man and the women. "Hi I'm Amy Fleming. I run this place. Do you have a horse in need of some type of rehabilitation?"

Lou smiled awkwardly at the couple. "Excuse me, Amy could I have a word with you?"

Lou and Amy went behind the barn. "Are you kidding me Lou? You're selling Heartland?"

"Amy we're not making enough money anymore. You're never here to help with the horses and Ty doesn't exactly have the reputation you do. We don't get a lot of business anymore."

"But you can't sell it. It's Mom's dream."

"I don't think her dream is for her daughters to wind up broke."

"How could you sell it? Didn't Grandpa leave it to both of us?"

"No, Amy. He left it to me. I thought I was secretly doing you a favor. I know you lost your passion for this."

"I didn't. I've just been really –"

"Busy, I know. I know you dropped all your pre-vet classes. Amy I know you purposely didn't go riding while you were here for Grandpa's funeral. It's okay, I'm not judging you for it."

"Lou you don't understand."

"Then help me understand."

"It's not that I've lost my passion, it's just that I'm scared." Wow, did it feel good to finally get that off her chest. "Ever since my accident I've been scared."


	8. Chapter 8

Amy nervously walked out to the barn the next day. Lou and Amy had talked and even though Heartland's future was not secure yet, Lou said that she would keep it open the rest of the summer. Amy saw Ty's truck already parked, which made her even more nervous.

At fist she saw only Ty and then from behind him emerged Heather, looking absolutely gorgeous. Heather spotted Amy first. "Amy! How are you? I haven't seen you in forever." Amy chuckled nervously as Ty's face looked shocked.

"Yeah, but I'm back now."

"Aww! And I'm just leaving. I'm going to England for three weeks to compete Reality Check in the Queen's Court."

It seemed like every chance Heather got, she flaunted her riding abilities in Amy's face. Of course, that was Amy's impression, when really she was just making conversation. "Have fun! Congrats by the way on your guy's engagement."

"Thanks." She gave Ty a kiss and went to her car.

After she left, Ty just stared at Amy.

"Wow! That's a really great honor Heather got."

"Amy, what are you doing here?"

"You were right I am stronger than that and I am scared, but I'm back now and I know I can do it. What should I help with?"

"You can finish the feed. And if you'd like you can muck out the stalls," he said the last part with a small smile and Amy knew he wasn't still really mad at her.

"Sure."


	9. Chapter 9

Hey Readers

Hey Readers! First I wanted to say thank you so much for reading my story. I really love it when you comment. I wanted to break up the monotony of the story and throw in a little something else. This is probably the only chapter that will be from Ty's point of view and most of it will occur in the past.

"Ty! There you are! I've been looking all over for you," Amy came into the barn breathless.

"Well, here I am." He lugged the hay over his shoulder and walked away. Amy followed after him.

"Will kissed me. I didn't kiss him. Why don't you believe me?" Amy wiped the dirt off her face. "Ty, I love you."

"Amy, you've been really distant since you came back from college. I don't know what to believe anymore." Ty looked at Amy's beautiful face and it was very hard to stay mad at her.

"Could we please just talk? Could you stay tonight? I'll make you dinner."

Ty agreed. Ty finished all his chores and then went into the main house. As Amy walked down the stairs, Ty was taken aback by how gorgeous she looked. She had showered, put on makeup, and a tight black dress. Ty suddenly felt very dirty.

"You look great." Ty's hands started to sweat when she sat down next to him.

"So do you."

"I'm dirty. Is Jack home?."

"He's with Nancy. I like the way you smell after you're out with the horses."

Amy inched closer to Ty until he could feel her breath on his neck. She softly kissed it. Good God, Ty thought.

"Ty, I love you so much. You're the only person I want to be with. I'm ready to totally give myself to you."

"Amy, are you sure?" Ty backed off, knowing sex was a big thing to commit to. Amy started to kiss Ty passionately and with that they made love for the first time.

Two weeks later Ty was lunging Jasmine, when he heard Lou scream. Ty ran toward the noise. He was mortified when he saw Amy lying on the ground completely unconscious. She had been riding a spooky horse over a few jumps when the horse suddenly spooked and stopped before the jump. Amy had crashed head first into the jump and then it had fallen on her legs.

Amy was taken to the hospital and Ty followed along. She was in a coma for three days and when she got out of it, her legs were paralyzed. This had been absolutely horrible for Ty. But what had been even worse happened after that. Ty was going to visit Amy as he did most days. When he got to the room he saw Will hurriedly walking out.

"Why was he here?" Ty asked.

"He was visiting me," said an angry Amy. She had been growing more difficult. She was mad all of the time.

"I thought we agreed you wouldn't talk to him again." Ty was growing frustrated with Amy's nonchalant attitude.

"Ty, so what? Why does everything have to be a big deal?"

"It doesn't. But you're making it one."

"I'm making it one?"

"Yes, you are.

"God! Can't you just back off?"

"Yeah sure." He held up his hands and started to leave. Amy took a deep breath.

"Ty, I mean for good. I need to be by myself. I want to break up with you."

The weeks following the breakup had been hard. Ty tried to call Amy, thinking her decision was in the heat of the moment, or because of the accident. But for three weeks she didn't return his calls. Ty decided that Amy had moved on so he should move on.

Three months after the breakup, the ex stable hand, Ben, had introduced Ty to his little sister Heather. Heather was fun, spontaneous and everything that Ty needed right now. They had started out just having fun, but things quickly turned serious. Ty's love for Heather was less intense than it had been for Amy, but he attributed that to her being his first love. He did care about Heather a lot and six months after they had fist started dating he proposed to her.


End file.
